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Why come to relationship counselling?

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If communication has become negative and leaves one or both partners feeling depressed, insecure, disregarded or shutting down and withdrawing from conversation, this will have a long-lasting and detrimental impact on your relationship.  Counselling can assist you to get your relationship back on track.

 

Infidelity and affairs

 

When one or both partners consider having an affair, or one partner has had an affair, then counselling can help the couple to either move forward and forgive or separate as amicably as possible.

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If there is a lack of conversation, sex or intimacy in your relationship and you find that you co-exist like flatmates, instead of a couple in love, then counselling can assist to identify what is missing and turn your relationship around.

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Communication skills

 

Relationship counselling is most effective when couples seek it out sooner rather than later.  Problems rarely go away on their own and are actually more likely to intensify over time.  Couples who have realistic expectations of one another and their relationship, couples who communicate well and use conflict resolution skills are less at risk of separating.  Counselling can be particularly useful during times of transition e.g. the birth of a baby, relocation or change of career, children moving out of home, death of a loved one or loss of a job.  Counselling can help at these times to teach and reinforce positive communication skills and a strong connection between the couple.

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Co-parenting when separated

 

From my own lived experience I have attended relationship counselling many times.  I initially attended with my ex-husband once we realised that separation was the best solution to the ongoing problems within our marriage.  Counselling at this time encouraged us to keep our separation as amicable as possible. Counselling taught us skills which we were able to put into practice so we could communicate with each other respectfully. Most importantly counselling enabled us to co-parent our children in a co-operative manner, even during times of high stress.  The benefits of counselling at this time were numerous and also helped us avoid the expensive Family Court mandated mediation process or a long emotionally and financially draining Family Court battle.  Years later, I once again sought out relationship counselling when I eventually remarried, at this time my new husband and I were struggling with the dynamics of trying to blend our 'old' lives with the 'new'. Counselling provided us with a safe space to speak openly about our issues and develop strategies for us to overcome these issues, in addition to strengthening our commitment to each other and bringing us closer together.  My husband and I still attend counselling whenever we feel like we need a refresher course or are feeling disconnected from each other.

 

Handling disagreements

 

I've found in my own practice that the couples who benefit most from counselling are those who are open to change and possess a willingness to look at themselves and their flaws.  It's normal for all couples to experience conflict at various times in their relationship.  However, happy couples know how to effectively handle their disagreements and work through them without leaving long-lasting scars and resentment.

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If you feel that relationship counselling may be of benefit to you please contact me to arrange an appointment. Research indicates the longer you wait to seek help the more difficult it is to get your relationship back on track.

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